Got A Minute? Why Not Read This Shit Its Only Like 3 Paragraphs

If you didn't already know, uncle dmax came through this weekend and all we have to show for it is hot painful diarrhea and lots of recycling. This can be explained by 2 days consuming nothing but Mexican food and booze a.k.a. the philly taco diet. That very taco fling ended a serious burger obsession that lasted for over 3 weeks. If I wasnt grilling burgers outside, I was whippin' em up on the George Foreman. For dinner, I was noshing at burger destinations like Good Dog and and Graces Tavern on the reg. It was pretty intense.

So dmax comes into town and we hit up Johnny Brendas, who also happen to have great burgers. Anyway, I forget my I.D. and our waitress isn't gonna let me drink. Bummer. The rest of our party orders pitchers of beers and their food. While we are eating, I'm chugging beers while the waitress isn't looking and we had two:

1. One of us should regularly leave their I.D. behind and we'll see how drunk we can get them before the waitress notices he/she is drunk.
2. See if the waitress knowingly processes my card to pay for all of the beer she wouldn't let me drink.

Full of God's gift to the human stomache, beer and burgers, we motion for the check. When she brings it over I quickly offer up my card before she has a chance to walk away. Needless to say, she quickly grabs my card and processes it without batting an eye. Being of-age to drink, she didn't do anything wrong besides be enough of a bitch to make this blog. If I would have been under 21, all of her I.D. mongering would have gone to waste. So thanks for entertaining us at your expense (sort of my expense since I footed the bill for this little experiment). Hear this waitress at Johnny Brendas: you shot your tip right in the balls.

Bucket Of Truth Discovered In NEP

This morning I woke up bewildered and confused. To my surprise I did not have a hangover this morning despite the 12+ beers and the handle of gin that we polished off last night. Sans hangover I popped up out of bed to discover a text message from good ol' uncle dmax, "Maybe we forgot the gin I'm like not hung over at all."

Anyway, this just in: Gin Buckets Fucking Rule. Have you ever heard of that old hangover remedy where you drink ginger ale to ease your stomach? Well dmax and I found a gin bucket recipe that's mad simple where you can drink as much as you fuck please, and not have a hangover. The recipe that we found wasn't as ambitious as we would have liked, so we customized it by hiking up the booze content. The recipe follows:

1 2liter bottle of ginger ale
3 3/4 cups of gin (Gordons hollerrr!)
1/3 cup of lemon juice

So, we mixed all that shit together in a pitcher and served them in tall glasses with plenty of ice. No one could taste a lick of booze. They were crisp, clean, and potent, utterly delish. Let me break from praising these things for a second by saying that it was probably 100 degrees farenheit and humid as all hell yesterday and we were searching for something to get wasted on that was light and refreshing, and the Gin Bucket was the perfect answer. We got superdrunk and came to this conclusion: The Gin Bucket is the official HatchbackLimo drink of the summer (even though summr is half over). With the gin bucket and my summer reading list, this summer staycation should turn out to be pretty awesome.

Morton's Kosher Salt Thinks We're All Slugs And Is Trying To Kill Us With Their On-The-Box Recipes

On the back of a 3 pound box of coarse kosher salt, this recipe is featured.
16 large shrimp
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon if fresh ginger
1 box of Morton Kosher Salt (3 pounds)

.... Three pounds? Are you serious? How much salt could actually come in contact with the surface of the shrimp and have an impact on flavor? There comes a point, say around one cup, where if you're using that much salt, you are either curing meat or retarded. The recipes goes on to have you pour the whole box of salt onto a baking sheet and bake the shrimp lying on the bed of salt, rendering 99% of all that salt useless and utterly wasted. Good job Morton's, I bet somebody, somewhere fell for your trick to sell more boxes of salt most people buy once a decade. But at what cost? Was it worth insulting and alienating all of your rational customers?